Going Home - continuation
Submitted by Catherine Sword on Fri, 2006-10-27 19:34.
Still stumbling in the dark. It seems the light has not flashed on at all these past two weeks for another glimpse. It's that darned work and gotta eat thing that keeps rising. On and on it goes.
So this is what practice and discipline is all about. Yes, work is going to continue. Have not won any lotteries so no personal chef in sight. Dust bunnies over-populate under the bed. Even still, finding the time (the discipline) to sit quietly or meditate (the practice) but no flashes come.
So perhaps this is where the teacher comes in. Have taken the red pill, been ripped from the pod, baptized in the river of the liquified dead, surfaced and thrashed my way to the shore.
I see the deep cherry-red leaves of a Japanese maple tree every day on my walk. It's beauty is warm on these cool days of the fall. It will do, for this moment, until a push from the teacher? For now, what is this feeling of "this will just do, for now"? A respite?
Resisting the temptation to grab that tree in my mind. Wrestle it down to the earth. Trample the secrets outta it.
Sit. Sit. Sit. Wait for something to come.
Going Home Continuation
When you rest continually in the state of "this is it" more and more with every second of every minute,
you are home.
Are you form or formless.
Ultimately a decision must be made, is this world my true home or not. After looking into your mind for the origin of a thought you can not find this place (you can not find your true "SELF"). You have seen me point to my body and ask, "Am I this or (pointing to the sky) am I that". In Vajrayana Buddhism the are 2 types of meditation, Form meditation and Formless meditation. A Buddha is a "Dream Master", they have mastered the dream of their life and the world in it. He or she now has become a formless being existing in an illusionary world of form. Sooner or later you must chose Catherine, are you truly "Form" or "Formless".
I am the parasite
I keep thinking of this combined being of form and formless as some sort of parasite. Can one live without the other? Is the parasite aware or concious that it's not really the form it's living off of?
The parasite needs the host. Does the formless need the form? Foils. Perhaps formless conciousness does not understand the nature of its own existence and is trying to step out for a different view. An attempt to explore "self-awareness" of a formless existence from a form being.
This brings me back to a question I've had before. I'd like more information on the nature of duality rising from a singularity.
Also, I'd like more info on the dream master but I'm still mulling that over to formulate a good question.
I am the parasite: duality and singularity
You request more information on the nature of duality arising from a singularity. Sounds very very solid!
Isn't really.
All extremes contain their opposite.This is from the work of Carl Jung. The more extreme a thought, word or activity in one direction the more it's opposite will arise.
When a person sits in meditation, focussing on for eg. Compassion (Chen Rezig) what arises after a certain while is understanding of what is NOT compassion, usually associated with one's sense of identity.
Another way to say this: you meditate in order to
feel better, live better, be better, persumably. As you meditate, you discover the ways in which you are behaving which are not compassionate.
"oh, I said that lousy thing to that person. He deserves it, for sure! But it's a lousy thing. Yes, I am right to have said it. No, I'm not right it was wrong..." and on and on.
This type of inner dialogue arises as soon as one concentrates on trying to be, say and do compassionate things.
So why meditate at all?
Meditation makes rise whatever the hindrance is to manifesting a particular state. Meditation coaxes from the unconscious stores whatever nasty bits of ourselves and others and the world we do not normally chose to look at.
Meditation in other words, helps awareness grow.
Why learn about all those nasty bits inside you?
As you slowly learn to accept the nasty bits inside of you, you begin to see yourself as containing both the compassionate and the non-compassionate.
You learn to contain the opposites.
In containing the opposites Consciousness which flows through you is the singularity. What arises is by the nature of this dualistic world restricted to one thing or the other.
Once Consciousness sees the opposites within, and begins to see the opposites without, Consciousness is the singularity.
Harold's bracelet
When you say "all extremes contain their opposite" is this to say the singularity contains the duality? So formless actually **contains** form. Is Home then, in neither state. (Ah! The "just sitting" is between both.)
So formless is also a trap or prison.
This is Harold's bracelet - the thread is the consciousness flowing between form and formless, samsara and the bardo. The singularity is being between but there's such pull towards the extremes. It's like some sort of gravity to each end.
What was said at the Friday night meditation. Something about knowing our energy is stronger than gravity because??
Harold, what kind of battle to you envison in the bardo, or formless realm?
Harold's Comments
My battle will not be the same as your battle. Your's will be to overcome the belief that you are form. You have had countless lives(dreams) believing in the world of form. The idea of human beings, worlds and universes existed only in the coarse (form) mind. I remember back to the war,the war that we all lost, the war that made us FORM. This war is the battle I engage in but I can only do this between one dream life and the next. Catherine you are correct in understand that form existence in the formless realm. It only exists as a dream a project of our formless conciousness. Remember Neo in the car on the way to seeing the Oracle. He says "I have all these memorys of my life - none of them happened - what does that Mean?". He is now entering into the "Yoga of One Taste". Where your view, mediation and practice is this - All your mental projections of your mind, everything your see, hear, smell, taste, touch and perceive is a DREAM and nothing but a Dream!!!. T.T.F.N.
stilling the pendulum
My battle is also a trap in that I could end up setting up a "belief of nonform". This is swinging the pendulum, isn't it? I suspect your battle may be to encourage or show the formless beings *that* belief system. I expect you'll see me there and give me a monstrous slap to try to wake me because if I've had countless lives believing in form, I've had the same for formless.
Can you tell me about the war you remember? The war we all lost and why did that make us form? Did that begin the dreams?
I don't get the impression that it matters where the beginning awakening moments occur (form or formless). It matters that the connection is strengthened between both so that conciousness of both becomes stronger with each transfer or swing of the pendulum. As the pendulum settles, do the dreams become less confused?
I am not the "Dreamer" - I am the "Dreamed"
You are DREAMING everything my dear, "EVERYTHING". A great master once said - " If you maintain the view that everything is illusory then you will accomplish an illusory pratice leading to illusory enlightenment. There is no "FORM" or "FORMLESS". There is only the "DREAMER" and the "DREAMED". One day on your journey your mind will stop and tell you to turn around and look behind you. To your shock and surprise you will meet someone who has been waiting for you since beginningless time. That someone is your "DREAMER", that which has been dreaming you all these many lifetimes. You see Catherine you are in fact the "DREAMED" , you have never been the "DREAMER". As you are reading this, it is in fact being read by your "DREAMER" and not you.
words, words, befuddling words
Ah, words. As Mr. Frost (the devil) says, "Words...they may very well be my best invention". That lovely word, "illusory". I don't want the illusion of a practice and I certainly don't want an "illusory enlightenment". I want the real thing. Thank you for that little slap. It's not illusion. It's a dream. Of course, those are just words and may be interchangeable. I need to sit with this new perspective.
I can't help but think that this is good prep work for death. When I blink out of the form is there a time frame when I may turn and see the dreamer before I am sucked into the bardo?
How concious is the dreamer? Is this why it's so important to be as concious as possible in this form realm (or formless). So we can flash cards or messages back at the dream or projectionist. A sort of progress report.
The dreams I have when I sleep come to me with truth. What truth does my form bring to the dreamer? If my day life affects what arises in my night dreams does my day life also affect the dreamer? Or does what arises for the dreamer affect my daylife? To "see" the dreamer is not necessarily to "know" the dreamer.
As much as this sounds linear I think it's back to an earlier thought on simultaneously. An unfolding of conciousness arising. I may be getting a little out of my depth here and don't have the words to describe this.
The Dreamer and the Dreamed
Death is when your true mind can no longer animate your dreamed body and dreamed mind. It is at that moment of death that the dreamed no longer exists. But if you do not know that your countless lifetimes are but a continuous dream, the dream continues and the "DREAMED" continues to be dreamed all be it in another body and a completely new dream life. Your true "DREAMER" is trying to awaken from a deep coma and if she is not careful she could slip back into her "dream coma". Remember at all times Catherine you are not the DREAMER you are infact the DREAMED. This pratice is call the "Yoga of One Taste" and that taste is this - everything is an illusion a dream,even you. You practice this yoga every moment that you possess a form body and mind.
nobody said it would be easy
The point of death is the closest to the "true mind". We place so much value on life and yet, apparently it is exactly that - life - which separates us from true mind. Interesting perspective and one fantastic yoga twist to maintain throughout a life. Nobody said it would be easy but if I can maintain this "one taste" yoga pose past the death of form body,
maintain the trained form mind briefly in the bardo (which bardo?)
turn my mind to the dreamer (true mind)
give it a good smack and scream "STAY AWAKE. We've got to go back for the others."
then, my next dreamed form life may be more lucid?
Or I will roll over in my nice cozy bed and decide I like sleeping. It's so nice and warm here.
One Taste
One Taste is what killed Cypher in the Matrix. To taste that all things, including you, are an illusion can lead you to liberation or to hell. It is taught that many who started this journey quit and gave up the whole trip to remembering what they are. You need a teacher who has the "Taste" to guide you through this dangerous desert. Was Agent Smith a victim of "One Taste"? He did say that all he wanted to do was to get out of this ZOO this PRISON this REALITY. Remember Cypher's speech about Morpheus - "He lied to us. He tricked us. If he had told us the truth we would have told him were to shove that red pill". Be careful for what you choose Catherine because the "TASTE" may not be what you think and hope it is. It can be very bitter and tart and this "TASTE" could last forever. Your choice, You choose!!!