For some of us, yesterday was the great Turkey day. We roasted, hosted and toasted through a day of giving thanks for the abundance in our lives.
Today is the day of digestion not only for the larger than usual meal but for the more than usual conversations.
Chewing an important event after it has occurred actually helps us digest the contents.
Here's how it works.
You had your favorite relatives over for Thanksgiving. Well, alright you also had your not-so-favorite, or favorite-if-only-they-wouldn't-say (fill in the blank) You may have read the other Recipe for Relationship articles for tips on how to direct and steer conversations over tricky area. You may have applied some of these tips to more or less advantage.
Whatever has occurred it is all said and done now.
Take some time today or in the next two days. Do this exercise within 72 hours of an event happening. Just as with a large amount of food, whatever sits in your mind and heart unaided by conscious attention will rot and cause more trouble in the future.
Take some time to sit and watch whatever your mind offers up to you: you said this and he/she/they said that then this then that.
Just watch. This is not the time to argue or judge. Just let your mind "talk back" to you, giving up whatever bits of dialogue or conversation.
If you watch for a period past twenty minutes you will notice, if not before that time, some patterns. Some of the same bits of conversation or moments of being with others will keep recurring.
These are the nuggets of the hard-to-digest. As you notice which moments these are, do not shake yourself into "getting past" these.
Instead, mine them for their emotional content. Take one and begin to steady the memory. Focus on it. Then watch for what physical sensation arises in your body. Ask what emotion is attached to this sensation. Then just sit with whatever physical sensation and emotional feeling is present.
Just sit.
In a surprisingly few minutes you will notice the sensation and the feeling have diminished. Their former pang of intensity dulls quite naturally when you give conscious attention to the sensations and feelings.
This is the process of chewing on and helping yourself digest yesterday's events!