The ancient Greek philosopher, Socrates, had this sage advice for physicians "Know Thyself."
The same good advice applies to us when it comes to choosing partners.
We spend much time every day thinking about make-up, shoes, clothes, what to wear to the next event, and who might be there. This is valuable time and helps us present ourselves in the light we most want to be seen.
What we often neglect to do in life is spend at least as much time on figuring out what we want in a partner.
If we don't know what we are looking for, how will we know when we find it?
Some of the most helpful time you can spend with yourself is with the following exercise.
With a pen and paper write down quickly whatever qualities or characteristics you enjoy in another person, man or woman. If nothing comes to mind, try thinking about your friends, family members, people you currently and in the past have admired, respected and felt good about.
Now ask yourself what qualities in this person made your time with them so enjoyable? Was it their forgiving nature? Their sense of humour? Their kindness? Was it their desire to succeed, their determination? Was it their practical side, their frivolous side?
Do this exercise as often as you like. I suggest doing it at least three times, but several times over the course of a few weeks will give you the best results.
Don't worry about repetition.
When you have finished, tally up the qualities you mentioned on a separate piece of paper. Now, look down the list and strike out any repetition.
What is left gives you a good idea of the characteristics and qualities you are looking for in a partner!
Next, put these qualities in order of importance.
Again, take your time and do this more than once.
When you are finished you will have a very clear idea about what you are looking for in a friend, or a partner for life.
If you are very honest and use past relationships to help you with this, you'll discover where you might have gone wrong in the past. You'll find you sacrificed, or let go of what you truly want NOW in a person, for some future goal.
This exercise is easily done and bears repeating in future until you know what you are looking for.
Then the search is much easier.