Karmic Wave

One evening I stood on the edge of the sea, the waves slipping past my ankles towards the sand. A couple steps deeper my calves tingled and began to go numb. As the waves rushed and pushed their way back into the ocean I felt the sand slip out from under the arch of my feet. My toes dug into the mud. I stepped farther out, away from the shore. Step after slow step. Lifting one heavy thigh to push through the dense cold water, then another. Push. Push. Cold seeped up the waist of my bathing suit, splashed at my shoulders, my arms skimming the surface.

Standing as still as I could the current swayed me like seaweed. My toes clung to the sandy bottom, granules slipping out from under my feet as I swayed in the sea. Waves splashed salt into my mouth, across my face, over my head. Cool. So cool.

I tottered on tip toes, looking out to the dark line of the horizon. That’s when I saw it. I blinked in disbelief. Oh God. I’m over my head and I haven’t really learned how to swim. I bobbed as best I could to turn around; face the shore. Oh God! Sand clutched in the folds of my toes, my legs too heavy to stride. I needed to let go.

That’s when it hit me and the earth was gone. My legs peddled. My arms flailed. The sea pulled me along, up for air, pushed me towards shore. Down again I’m kicking angrily. You won’t drown me. Not this evening my lovely sea. Up again, I see stars sparkle in my salt stung eyes. I spit rage and haul in a good breath for down again, push, up again. We play that game for a short millennium until the sea flings my body onto the beach, knocking the breath from me, sliding my face across the mud.

As I lay there, it hits me. That was the karmic wave. How can I ever hope to battle that? Already I feel the soft water tickling my thighs, preparing to drag my being back into the game. To play it again and again and again.

I rolled onto my back and stared up at the moon as I shakily dragged air into my bruised body. The moon wins. The moon pulls and pushes the entire ocean. Invisible strings puppeting the ocean. Energy deflected from the sun. The sun, like a burning brain spews fiery synapses like the ocean spewing spittle along the coast line.

I pushed my being up off the mud, took a step away from the sea. Water bubbled playfully between my toes. Another step. Another step. I turned my sight back to the sea and backed further up the beach to the dry sand.

Game over.

For the moment.

Catherine