This brief examines the use of an old saying for application in today's busy and confusing world of dating and romance.

The old saying "I wouldn't want to be a member of any group that would accept me as a member" is a funny way of stating one's shortcomings.

We all know we have areas where we do not shine, where we need to work and improve. The saying however makes much sense when we apply it to the world of dating and romance.

If you are looking for love in bars for example you are most likely going to find it: bar love, that is. Bar love may be typified by short, intense encounters meant to satisfy the momentary desire, but not strong on supplying or building a life together.

If you find someone in a bar with whom you begin a longer term relationship, what will the relationship most likely look like? Probably the inside of a bar!

Of course there are exceptions to every suggestion and many people will state their love life began with meeting in a bar, but many, many people will testify to the time and energy wasted by consuming quantities of loud music and alcohol.

It is not that bars and loud music music are always wrong.

It's that their best use, for kicking up some energy and throwing off the stress of life on an occasional basis, is not the best way to meet the "Right One."

What about sports events? It is possible to meet a potential mate at sports events, and if you are deeply into sports yourself this is a good place to start. Think it through however.

Sports love is likely to come with its own emblem on a t-shirt, proudly proclaiming the favored team, a cap with the same emblem and many, many, many hours of fanatic devotion to televised or live sports events enjoyed with others equally entranced by watching other humans engage in physically demanding activities.

If you are both participants in the sports, you share a mutual attraction for the exhilaration of demanding exercise and the need to shower often.

Of course, this is meant as a lighthearted look at how and where to begin to search for a partner but the main theme is sound: where you look will to some degree determine the shape and size of who you find.

The same reasoning applies equally to for example religious or spiritual meetings. If you know for certain your chosen religion is a life-long commitment for you, or if your sense of being a spiritual being searching for possibilities about spirituality, then gatherings which support and encourage these quests are positive places to find a potential partner.

Nothing assures or guarantees completely that you will find the right partner but starting by looking in the right places, thinking through the activites and areas for your search is a helpful beginning.